Some days are smooth and easy. Your ride to work is uneventful. You manage to get what you want done. The evening is pleasant time with friends or loved ones.
Other days it’s like someone packed in so many annoyances you feel like you can’t help but come apart at the seams. You might want to rail loud and angry against the jerk that cut you off on the highway. Scream your head off about the co-worker who got credit for your work. Tear down the receptionist who changed your doctor’s appointment without telling you. No matter what situation has gotten under your skin it’s better to deal with it from a place of calm.
Regular meditation is the great equalizer in life. If you are a regular meditator (good for you) you are already ahead of the game when it comes to dealing with daily stresses. Even if you don’t manage to meditate on a regular basis there are still things you can do in the moment to quickly drag yourself back from the edge.
Create a focal point
The hardest part about meditation for most people is the inability to settle the mind. Our thoughts are like Mexican jumping beans bouncing around all over the place against the express demands of our brains. When you need to settle your thoughts find something in your sight line to focus your attention on. Breathe deeply and just keep focusing on that one thing. Use it as an anchor to hold you in place until you can find a place of calm again.
Find compassion for yourself
Self-compassion means remembering you are a worthy, significant person, deserving of the good things this world has to offer. Flying off the handle in the moment often feels good in the moment, but it’s usually followed by self-recrimination. Along with thoughts like I wish I’d handled that differently or I should never had said that.
By beating yourself to the punch with a little self-compassion you can give your better self the chance to take over from your thoughtless self.
When you feel like lashing out stop and do a quick self-check. Notice your breathing. Take note of your heart rate. Recognize the fight emotion surging in the fight or flight reaction – and breathe it out. Remind yourself of better ways you’ve dealt with similar situations in the past. Center yourself, find the person who handles things well hidden behind the angry one and bring them to the forefront.
Remind yourself of the long view
The moment we are currently inhabiting always seems huge because it’s the one we’re in. But every moment is tamed down to size with time. If you find yourself in a moment of fury or hurt or fear, take the time to put it into perspective. How much will this moment matter in a day? How about a week? Or a year? Is it worth losing your cool over something you won’t even remember next week? If not then remember you’re going to calm down anyway so you might as well start now!