The Fine Balance of Life

The Fine Balance of Life

As life passes from day to day, we get caught up in the business of creating a life for ourselves. Earning enough to live comfortably and take care of the ones we love. And from in the middle of all that striving sometimes it’s easy to forget the things that mean the very most in our lives.

Once we’ve taken care of the essentials, for most of us the most important thing in our lives isn’t the car we drive or the square footage of the house we live in or the designer labels yelling out from our clothing. It’s the other people we share our lives with.

Greatest impacts

When you think about it, what made the greatest impacts on your life? The things you got or the things you did? Most people would answer, experiences. Times we shared with others.

Who are the people who stand out most in your memory? We’d be willing to bet it’s the ones who helped you in some way, along the way. Which means the people you impacted most were most likely the ones you helped.

The balance between give and take

Life is a fine balance between give and take. On the take side, are people who have helped us. Given us letters of recommendation. Introduced us to others who could benefit us. Paid for a year of our tuition. As we go through life, we balance that against the give side. All the people we in our turn, have helped.

The people who helped us and the ones we were able to help are the ones who make the house of our lives a home. We don’t give and take because we are keeping score or out of obligation. We do it out of a true desire to help. Because it makes us feel good. Because we can.

Make Everyday Run Smoother

Make Everyday Run Smoother

 

Do you ever notice that some days simply run more smoothly than others? There’s less stress, doors seem to almost open by themselves, people seem a little nicer, more interested in you and more interesting. Do you know there are small tweaks you can use in your everyday interactions that will increase your chances of having one of those smooth days?

 

Throw a few of these (or all of them) into your daily mix and see if they make a difference in the silky smoothness of your day!

 

Use people’s names right away

As soon as you meet someone start using their name, they will immediately start feeling an affinity for you.

 

Ask Questions


Not only will it save you tons of trial and error or online research time, asking questions is also good for relationship building. People like to be helpful. If they feel like their answers are helping you, they’ll like you for giving them the opportunity to help.

 

Learn by teaching

Once you’ve learned to do something new a great way to solidify what you’ve learned and to see how good you are, is to teach it to someone else. Your student will be a mirror of their teacher.

 

Be flexible

We don’t mean yoga flexible, we mean don’t always push for your own preferences. Give others’ ideas a full listen, accommodate yourself to the situation instead of pushing to have things exactly how you were expecting.

Getting people to agree to do something for you 1

There are a couple of things you can try here at opposite ends of the spectrum. One is to ask them to do something simple first, getting them into the flow of doing something for you.

 

Getting people to agree to do something for you 2

The other is to ask them to do something completely unreasonable, then when they say no, or balk at that, ask for what you really want.

 

Take a genuine interest in others

If you want to gain someone’s attention, one of the best things you can do is ask them about themselves. Keep the conversation going by asking more questions. They’ll like the fact that you care about them and it will set the foundation for future interactions.

 

Use stress for courage

Some of the symptoms of stress and courage, like increased breathing rate and increased heart rate are the same. So if you’re feeling stressed out, turn it around and tell yourself your body is getting ready to do something courageous.

 

Pay attention to body language

Want people to like you just a tiny bit more when they meet you? Look a little longer into their eyes. That extra second of looking into their eyes helps them open up to you a little bit more. Avoid unconscious I’m bored signals like crossing your arms or tapping your feet. Speaking of feet, when you’re talking to someone, take a quick look down at their feet. If the person is facing you, but their feet are pointed in the other direction, that’s the direction they want to go.

 

Waiting for an answer

Sometimes when you ask a question you only get a partial answer. Instead of walking away or pushing for more, just wait. If you keep eye contact, without saying anything more, a lot of the time people will keep on talking.

 

Keep up your energy and enthusiasm

Energy and enthusiasm are contagious. When talking to someone notice where your energy levels are and if they’re low, revv them up.

 

Assume everyone already likes you

Want to feel more confident? When you walk into a room or meet someone for the first time, assume they already like you. They’re likely to assume it right back.

Stir Yourself in the Right Direction

If you keep doing the same thing over and over again, how can you expect different results?

The first time I heard that line was during a conference call with a group of salespeople. As far as I knew, it came from Doug, the man who was running the call. Later, I read a variation of it somewhere online: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. I then realized the words weren’t from Doug. Since then I’ve seen variations of it more times than I can count. It’s been attributed to Albert Einstein, Ben Franklin and many others.

The line is referred to and repeated so often because it’s one of those statements that makes you stop and think: “That’s right! If I want to see some change in (fill in the blank) aspect of my life that I’m not happy with, then I can’t just sit around and wait for that change to show up. I’m going to have to BE the change!”

The Positives and Negatives
Like so many things in life, there’s a positive side and a negative side. For instance, brushing your teeth. Most people brush their teeth at least twice a day expecting to maintain healthy teeth, and for the most part it works. However, some people don’t bother brushing their teeth regularly and are surprised every time they go to the dentist to hear the sound of the drill.

Tooth brushing might seem like a simplistic metaphor to use to illustrate a life lesson, but some things are just that simple. If you’re consistently getting the results you’re looking for, then keep doing what you’re doing. Go further and fine-tune your endeavors, figure out exactly what’s bringing in those positive results, intensify that and KEEP DOING IT. However, if nothing is happening and you’re doing what you’ve always been doing hoping that things will change, then you better think twice because you’re going to be in for a long wait.

Change Your Attitude, Change Your Life
Oftentimes we hope or wish things were different. We might go so far as to think positive thoughts and visualize a different life for ourselves. But hoping, wishing and visualizing  isn’t going to make one speck of difference if you don’t get down to the basics. If you continue to not brush your teeth, no matter how much you visualize the dentist not picking up his or her drill, nothing is going to change.

Look at an aspect of your life that’s not unfolding to your satisfaction. You might believe you’re doing your best, unflagging in your persistence and that might very well be true. But sometimes it’s not a matter of how hard you work.  Sometimes it’s a matter of completely rethinking your approach and changing it up. Walk, ride a bike, drive, parasail, skip, give yourself permission to take the road you’ve never taken and see where it leads. Ask people who’ve succeeded at what you’re trying to accomplish and incorporate their advice. You may not get to where you want to go right away, but at least you’ll be getting somewhere different and with enough persistence you’ll get yourself pointed in the right direction.

If you’re happy with the way things are going then keep on doing what you’re doing. If you’re not happy, then it’s time to change things up!