“Worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.” Baz Luhrmann

Baz Luhrmann Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen facebook

Before we proceed any further I have a confession. I have spent way more time than is healthy or warranted worrying. The kind of worry that robs me of sleep and makes getting out of bed an ordeal. The sort that turns all situations black or white because it robs me of the ability to see a middle ground.

 

What do I have to show for all those hours of worry? Baggy eyes, a bad attitude and the beginnings of an ulcer. Just about anything can set me off. The people I work with. Something I said, something someone else said, an impending deadline.

 

Worse than pointless

I speak from experience when I say worry in and of itself is pointless and detrimental. However because I know worry is my kryptonite I’ve learned to be vigilant at circumventing it and beating it to the punch.

 

Worry is stagnant. Action moves

I’ve learned I can spend inordinate amounts of time turning situations over in my head while I worry away the possibility of sleep or any possible enjoyment of life for days on end. Or I can go ahead and have a conversation I’m putting off. Or I can go for a run, or write out all possible outcomes and create contingency plans. If there’s nothing I can do to change anything, I can decide to simply accept what comes and move on with the rest of my life.

 

I may not like the answer I get, but at least I have an answer. Running doesn’t change anything but it does get me out of my head for a while. It’s important for me to see a world outside of all the doom and gloom accumulating in my brain. I’ve learned that worry is self perpetuating. It’s a weed in the garden of thought. That’s why it’s so important to fertilize the garden with action plans and positive thought and physical movement.

 

I cannot say I never worry anymore. What I can say is, I’ve found ways to stop worrying from taking root and in so doing my proactive actions have actually brought benefit to my life.

Breaking Impossible Into Attainable Possibilities

Breaking Impossible Into Attainable Possibilities

There are things that are physically impossible. Like as a lone individual I cannot stretch my arms out to my sides and take off into the sky. I also cannot hold my breath long enough to commune with the whales in their natural environment.

Broaden your perspective

However, that’s not to say I can’t experience the expanse of sky or sea. If I really want to, I could investigate the possibilities of hang gliding or jet packs to have an at-one experience with the sky dwellers. I can also learn to dive or at least snorkel to get myself close to the whales that mean so much to me.

With the right attitude and some imagination, the impossible becomes possible.

Push for your outcome

Now down to more tangible aspirations. What is your impossible? Is it writing and publishing a book of poetry? Becoming president of your company? Moving up to head of marketing?

No matter what your impossible is, you won’t get there in one fell swoop. There are intermediary steps to take on the way. Before you can publish a book of poetry you need to produce some poems. Some outstanding ones. The thrill of seeing one published in a magazine is the gas that will power you to keep on writing. To investigate exactly what goes into getting a book published (or publishing it yourself).

Life will meet you half way

As you work toward your goal of becoming head of marketing or president of your company, you are developing personally and professionally. Expanding your skills and network. People are noticing your efforts. Sometimes help comes from unexpected sources. Someone might offer to take you under their wing or introduce you to another who can advance your career. It’s like the energy and effort we put out into the world is reflected back our way.

Belief in yourself and your potential and the possibilities pushes you to try new things and work harder, and in so doing unexpected doors open. That’s when you start to see the I’m in I’m-possible.

Just Because You Have Good Reasons to Resent Someone That Doesn’t Mean You Should

Just Because You Have Good Reasons to Resent Someone That Doesn’t Mean You Should

There are all manner of great reasons to resent someone. The job you were after went to them. They got the promotion you were a shoe-in for. The person you love wakes up every morning in their bed.

 

Why do they have what you worked so hard for? They’re not smarter than you or more qualified or inherently better in some way.

 

All that negative energy makes you feel like you’re going to boil over. You’ve got to do something with it. So you focus all your seething resentment on the person who has what you want.

 

Negative energy is not projected it is reflected

The thing about resentment or hate or anger or any of the other negative emotions we carry around is – we are the one carrying them around. They weigh heavily on our shoulders at dinner and our ruin the taste of our food. They go to bed with us and interfere with our sleep. We have trouble formulating new ideas and thoughts and plans because the negative emotions are in the space of new perspectives.

 

Whether the other person knows about our resentment or not – and often they don’t – we are the ones who suffer. In terms of rectifying wrongs or getting what we want, resentment is the absolute worst strategy we can employ. Unless we can turn the resentment into something else.

 

Learn to be an alchemist

As an inward emotion, resentment is toxic. But if instead of just stewing in resentment we transform it into ambition or determination it becomes fuel. The negative of losing out becomes a positive when it’s transformed into the motivation we need to create our own success.

 

Remember someone else’s success is their own business. Yours is your business. You only have so much energy everyday. Use everything for positive fuel.

 

Make Your New Year’s Resolutions More Than Just Words

Make Your New Year’s Resolutions More Than Just Wordsacebook

A brand new year looks like an artist’s canvas before a single brush stroke has been painted. Or the morning after fresh fallen snow, before a single person has left a mark. The possibilities seem boundless and open. Past years are behind a fresh one awaits.

 

It’s in our nature to look at that new year as an opportunity to start again. To re-set our ways, forge ahead on a new path to create the success we’ve always envisioned for ourselves. To that end everyone makes resolutions at the beginning of the year. Unfortunately, as paint hits that empty canvas and boots track back and forth through that fresh snow, those resolutions often get lost in the noise and business of day to day life.

 

You make resolutions for a reason. Because you see areas of your life you want to change or get better at. Here are a few tips to help you create resolutions you’ll be able to keep from falling to the wayside.

 

Share your resolutions

If the only ones who know about your resolutions are you and your cat, then there’s really no one keeping you accountable. By sharing your resolutions, you will be inspired to stay on track not only for yourself (and your cat) but also for everyone who knows your plans.

 

Not only will they keep you on track, those people you shared your resolution with will become your support network. They’ll cheer you on when things go well and they’ll offer encouragement when times get rough.

 

It’s a scientific fact, people behave better when they think others are watching. By sharing your goals and putting yourself under the eye of others, you will be more inclined to stick to your resolutions.

 

Be specific

Often resolutions fall off the radar because they’re too broad or too big. In order to follow through on your goals, they need to be specific, tangible and attainable. If your ultimate goal is to become rich, then your resolutions need to be stepping stones toward that goal.

 

What is the main stumbling block that’s kept you from attaining your goal in the past? Do you have a problem with time management? Do you have trouble getting up early in the morning? Do you feel like your introversion holds you back?

 

Pick a single thing that you want to change and create a resolution you know you can keep. For example, if you have trouble speaking to people then your resolution could be something like I will make a point of speaking to two people I have never met every single day. The resolution is easy to monitor and keep track of. It’s attainable and over time it will contribute to your overall goal of mastering your introversion.

 

Create a reset button

If you find yourself straying away from your resolutions that doesn’t mean you need to give up on them. Give yourself opportunities to start again throughout the year. For example, the beginning of a new month is a chance to start again. Or a birthday, or an anniversary. The New Year is a great time to set resolutions, but it’s certainly not the only time. Remember a dropped resolution can be picked up again any time!

 

Question your resolutions

Sometimes the way to get results is to challenge yourself by stating your resolution in the form of a question. For instance instead of saying, I will build a business with twenty employees over the next twelve months, ask yourself, How can I build a business with twenty employees over the next year?

 

Think about your question. Approach it from different angles. How will I do this? What do I need to do in order to achieve this? Why do I want to do this? Answering these questions will make your resolution more tangible. Now that you’ve looked at it from a variety of perspectives, write down the steps you need to take to answer your questions. Those steps are your resolution. Set timelines to achieve them and follow that through the year.

 

Acknowledge your achievements

In order to stay motivated to follow through on your resolutions over the long haul it’s a good idea to reward yourself periodically. Set up a schedule from the onset. When I achieve X I will reward myself with Y. Create a map of rewards that will take you from the beginning of January through to the end of December.

“Don’t Take Today For Granted Because Tomorrow is Not Promised.” Kevin Hart

“Don’t Take Today For Granted Because Tomorrow is Not Promised.” Kevin Hart

You know how when you’re sick, swallowing is a Herculean effort and taking a breath results in a gut wracking coughing fit? You don’t think there are enough tissues in the world to sop up the mess flowing out of your nostrils. Your system is so out of whack you take to wondering if you’ll ever be okay again. Those bygone days of not being sick feel like a miracle of the greatest order. That’s when you start promising yourself to never take being well for granted again. You will give your life and your priorities the attention they deserve. Yes, you will smell the flowers and watch the sunsets. You will absolutely take advantage of your precious well-time when it finally rolls around again.

 

A life that’s lacking in attention

Once you do get better you stick to your promises – at the beginning. But after a while being well doesn’t feel so special any more. It’s just regularly scheduled programming. You stop paying attention to the preciousness of each moment and each day. Once again they blur into each other.

 

What if you only had a limited amount of time?

When we take life and time for granted it feels almost limitless. Like we’ve got reams of it to eventually get to whatever it is we want to do and experience. In fact none of us know when time could come crashing to a halt.

 

Acknowledge the beauty

If we lived each day like it could be one of our last we wouldn’t put off the important. We would acknowledge every special thing we see. And find special things in the mundane. When there is a time limit everything takes on a special significance. As if that particular blue sky is the most amazing thing the world has ever deigned shine down on anyone.

Illness is a reminder of the preciousness of being well. However we don’t need to be ill to remember. We just need to remember.

Confidence Can Be Created

Confidence Can Be Created

Are you one of those people who enjoys the full flower of confidence in yourself and your capabilities? If so then you will probably want to move on to another article. However, if you are someone who’s never quite managed to make their small seeds of confidence take root, then read on. We’ve got some tips that will nurture your confidence into bloom.

 

 

Make a list of great things that have happened recently

 

Reminding yourself of good or great things that have happened lately is a great way to awaken small buds of confidence in yourself. Those things don’t have to be huge. Anything that made you smile will do. Go over the past week. Write them all down. Focusing on the positives in your life will improve your mood overall, and make you feel happier and more confidant.

 

 

Tell a friend all the things you like about them

 

First off, it feels good to be nice. Second off, telling someone what you like about them will boost their confidence. Third off, while you’re busy looking for good in other people in your life, you’ll be better able to see the good within yourself. You will improve your own confidence by proxy!

 

Do something you’ve been putting off

 

All of us have things we’ve been putting off. Small things like replying to that email that’s been sitting in our in-box for a week. Calling our mom. Cleaning our apartment. Bigger things like starting the project waiting on the back burner. Continuing work on that project or finishing it off!

 

Things that need to be done are like a big mountain in the middle of your life. They prevent you from seeing around them to what’s on the other side. Not only that they are like a drought in our confidence field.

 

As you tackle each one you feel better about yourself and how you’re spending your time. You defy the voice in your head goading you to let things ride. You actually become a watering can for your seeds of confidence.

 

Noticing the good in your life and creating more by getting things done will sprout the buds of confidence. Keep nurturing them and you will cultivate the bloom you are after.

Don’t Let Autopilot Take Control of Your Life

Don’t Let Autopilot Take Control of Your Life

Do you wake up everyday, roll over and do what you can to squeeze in just a little more sleep? Or do you throw off the covers and leap into the day? Probably if you’re like most it’s a combination of both. However, you also probably incline in one direction or the other.

 

How much of your life happens without your direct input?

Going through your day you are asked to do things, big and small. How do you approach those? Do you complain about being asked? Try and foist responsibility on to others? Worry you aren’t capable and lament your miserable life?

 

Or do you relish the opportunity? Seek out the advice and help of others? Look at the request as an opportunity to learn and develop yourself and your capabilities? Once again you probably do a some of both, depending on the situation. And – once again you probably have a fall-back response for how you generally respond.

 

Automatic responses create an automatic life

These are important questions because our fall-back responses, the things we do automatically without much conscious thought at all are the things that end up directing the course of our lives.

 

By letting ourselves fall into patterns of behavior we create ruts in our lives. We stop looking at the possibilities and potentialities of each moment. We simply react as we always react. Those ruts worn into our days by habit ultimately become our lives.

 

Just because you are inclined to want to stay in bed doesn’t mean you can’t choose to throw the covers off and embrace the new day. Even if you don’t normally like to take on new challenges press pause on your automatic response and look at the potential upsides. You may learn something. Or end up helping someone. The experience might ultimately make you feel really good about yourself for one reason or another.

 

Allowing fallback responses to dictate your days is essentially the same as letting autopilot run your life. Paying attention to the moments and actually choosing what you’re going to do and how you’re going to react puts you in the driver’s seat. The driver’s seat is where you want to spend your days and ultimately the rest of your life.