Stay Mindful To Keep Things In Perspective

Stay Mindful To Keep Things In Perspective

Some days are smooth and easy. Your ride to work is uneventful. You manage to get what you want done. The evening is pleasant time with friends or loved ones.

 

Other days it’s like someone packed in so many annoyances you feel like you can’t help but come apart at the seams. You might want to rail loud and angry against the jerk that cut you off on the highway. Scream your head off about the co-worker who got credit for your work. Tear down the receptionist who changed your doctor’s appointment without telling you. No matter what situation has gotten under your skin it’s better to deal with it from a place of calm.

 

Regular meditation is the great equalizer in life. If you are a regular meditator (good for you) you are already ahead of the game when it comes to dealing with daily stresses. Even if you don’t manage to meditate on a regular basis there are still things you can do in the moment to quickly drag yourself back from the edge.

 

Create a focal point

The hardest part about meditation for most people is the inability to settle the mind. Our thoughts are like Mexican jumping beans bouncing around all over the place against the express demands of our brains. When you need to settle your thoughts find something in your sight line to focus your attention on. Breathe deeply and just keep focusing on that one thing. Use it as an anchor to hold you in place until you can find a place of calm again.

 

Find compassion for yourself

Self-compassion means remembering you are a worthy, significant person, deserving of the good things this world has to offer. Flying off the handle in the moment often feels good in the moment, but it’s usually followed by self-recrimination. Along with thoughts like I wish I’d handled that differently or I should never had said that.

 

By beating yourself to the punch with a little self-compassion you can give your better self the chance to take over from your thoughtless self.

 

When you feel like lashing out stop and do a quick self-check. Notice your breathing. Take note of your heart rate. Recognize the fight emotion surging in the fight or flight reaction  – and breathe it out. Remind yourself of better ways you’ve dealt with similar situations in the past. Center yourself, find the person who handles things well hidden behind the angry one and bring them to the forefront.

Remind yourself of the long view

The moment we are currently inhabiting always seems huge because it’s the one we’re in. But every moment is tamed down to size with time. If you find yourself in a moment of fury or hurt or fear, take the time to put it into perspective. How much will this moment matter in a day? How about a week? Or a year? Is it worth losing your cool over something you won’t even remember next week? If not then remember you’re going to calm down anyway so you might as well start now!

Be The First To Believe In Yourself

Be The First To Believe In Yourself

What do you think about your abilities?  Do you think you are a competent person? Do you believe you are capable of achieving your goals and your aspirations? Why do you think what you do? Is it because people have told you that you have certain talents? Is it because people have told you that you don’t?

 

Who do you listen to?

How would you feel about your potential if a random person on the street told you that you could achieve your goals? What if it was the person who knows you best in the world?

 

Obviously you’re going to feel better about the opinion of the person who knows you best in the world than a random person on the street.

 

A matter of perspective

That is precisely why your opinion of yourself and your abilities matters so much. If you feel like you can be successful you will wake up, throw the covers off and face the day with determination and excitement. If you feel like trying is a waste of time then you simply won’t have the energy to try.

 

Your abilities don’t actually have to factor into the equation either way. Because if you feel like you can be a success, you are going to put yourself in situations where you will learn what you need to succeed. You will practice and succeed and fail and come back to do both again. You will turn yourself into the person you already believe in.

 

If you feel like you can’t succeed, no amount of talent in the world will make up for your attitude.

 

Start with the person in the mirror

The opinions of others are great validations, but the first and most important person you need to convince of your worth is the one who looks back at you in the mirror. The opinions of others will come in response.

A Practical Perspective On How Others See You

A Practical Perspective On How Others See You

The human herd

 

Do you ever stop to think about how much of your life is dictated by what other people think? What we choose to wear. Our career choices. Political affiliations.  At first glance those things might seem to be based solely on person choice, but with a deeper look we can see they are highly influenced by our surroundings. Human beings are by nature herd animals. The article, You Are a Conformist, from Psychology Today describes it thus:

“Human beings are herd animals. We survive only in highly coordinated groups. Individually, we are designed to pick up social cues, coordinate and align our  behavior with those around us.”

Programmed to fit in

Essentially, we are programmed to want to fit in. On the one hand that’s great. It helps us build a functioning, amicable society. On the other hand, it can be stifling to our individuality.

 

A universe full of suns

While actually being a member of the human herd, from our own perspective we are the sun in our personal solar system, with everyone else orbiting around us. Being so aware of everyone around us, it feels like they must be equally aware of us.

 

In truth, unless you are a celebrity with your own personal herd of paparazzi following your every move, most people are too busy in their own solar systems to give you all that much attention.

 

What do you choose?

Imagine you didn’t want to please anyone except yourself. Would you choose to live your life any differently? How about what you wear, would it be any different?   What would you believe? You probably won’t be able to figure all of that out in one sitting because It’s hard to untangle our thoughts from the influences around us.

 

Once you’ve isolated yourself from the herd, think about Eleanor Roosevelt’s words, “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

 

Is there anything you’d like to change?