Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is an essential skill to have if you want to grow your career. Emotional intelligence is being able to gauge and understand how people are feeling, recognizing your own feelings, and using that knowledge to help support and work with others. It’s become a highly sought after skill in the work force. 

So now that you know what it is, how can you go about improving it? 

Stay Cool, Literally

Cooler temperatures help reduce your anxiety levels. If you feel yourself getting stressed or anxious in a discussion or argument, take a moment to splash some cold water on your face or take a walk outside. Being able to keep yourself from losing it is a huge part of emotional intelligence. Know what topics get under your skin and work to address that. Also take note of what topics seem to rile others up, and find a better way to approach them.

Meet New People

Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, expanding your network of friends and relationships will help you identify with a wider set of people. Don’t aim to meet people who have the same background and beliefs as yourself either. A key part of emotional intelligence is being able to empathize with a wide variety of feelings. The more diverse your network is, the more points of view you’ll be able to understand and incorporate into your emotional intelligence.

Know Yourself

Ask friends and people who are close to you to speak truth into your life about who you are. The more you know about yourself, the more you’ll understand what kind of effect you have on others. Emotional intelligence isn’t just about recognizing how others are feeling, but also about how you’re feeling and understanding why. Be willing to critique yourself and make changes when necessary.  

Recognize Reactions

When someone tries to give you constructive criticism, do you immediately get defensive? People’s reactions are often their first emotional response to something, before they’ve had time to process. Learn to recognize these reactions and adjust your approach accordingly. If you notice someone is constantly reacting defensively, soften your approach, or be clear that you’re bringing up a good thing. If someone quickly reacts with nonchalance, make sure you are impressing upon them the seriousness of the issue. 

Break The Chains of Negative Habits

Habits are interesting things. They can be good and bad. They can be picked up without even realizing you’ve done so, and they can be learned with practice. Some are small behaviors, like always eating the red Skittle or Smartie last. Others can have an impact on how we live our lives, like the habit of organization or making sure to always answer email within a day. One thing that’s often true about habits, according to Warren Buffett, is that you don’t always notice a habit has become habit, until it’s too late to easily break.

Positive habits vs. negative habits

There are good habits and there are negative habits. The ones we want to break are the negative ones, the ones that inspire us to do things we wish we didn’t. Whether it’s biting your fingernails, smoking or sitting with bad posture, all of these habits slowly develop in a way that you don’t even notice. Then one day, you realize that you have a deeply ingrained, bad habit. 

These bad habits can drag you down. Once you realize that you have a bad habit, it’s essential to put in the work to break it. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Ideally, you can even replace that negative habit with a positive one. 

Mistakes that Hurt your Chances of being Promoted

You’ve got a plan and you’re slowly achieving your goals one by one. That’s great. Next – a promotion!  Surely you’re well on your way. Be careful! There are common mistakes that hurt your chances of being promoted. Don’t make them.

Not Asking for It

You might think that just doing good work is enough. You’re wrong. If you never ask for the promotion, you’re probably not going to get it. Yes, you should be doing good work, but make sure you’re doing more than that. Don’t wait for a performance review. If you find you’re being handed new responsibilities or you’ve just completed a big project, drop a hint that you’d like to have a conversation about where your job is headed.  

Thinking Time Spent is Enough

Just because you’ve been working at the same place for a while, doesn’t mean you deserve a promotion. You probably know people who have been stuck in the same job for years with no movement in sight. One reason could be that those people are just expecting to get the promotion because they’ve been keeping the seat warm. No dice. You’ve got to work hard if you want to get ahead. 

You Don’t Get Along Well with Others

Having the drive to succeed is important, constantly doing it at the expense of others will come back to bite you. If you get promoted, you’ll more than likely have people working under you and you might have to work in close quarters with more people. If your current managers see that you don’t work well with others, they might hesitate to promote you.

Attitude

Do you demonstrate an interest in how the company is doing? Do you engage with others about the direction of the organization? Are you doing your best to make your role a pivotal part of the company’s success? Your attitude is something that people will notice over time. If your only interest is in seeing yourself get promoted, they’ll be able to tell. If you put the company before yourself though, your managers and supervisors will take notice. 

Getting promoted is a mixture of hard work, selflessness and asking for what you know you deserve. Don’t make the common mistakes that could cost you a promotion. 

Taking Responsibility For Your Work And Actions

Kids rarely understand the consequences of their actions. They don’t yet grasp that their actions can have lasting implications. Even as we grow older we can sometimes forget that what we do may impact how our lives change down the line. Sure there’s something to be said for having fun and not over thinking things too much, kids will be kids after all. But as Jamie Foxx points out in this quote, at some point you have to start taking responsibility for your choices.

Stop blaming others

Some people, no matter their age, have a habit of blaming others for the things that go wrong in their own lives. Whether it’s not getting a promotion, missing out on a bonus or not feeling fulfilled in their work, these people are too willing to decide that it’s the fault of someone else. This is no way to get ahead at work. At some point you have to take responsibility for what you do. That means taking a long hard look at yourself in the mirror.

Once you start to take responsibility for your work and your choices, you can start to learn from them. You’ll start making better choices, and the great part is, when you succeed, you get to take responsibility for that as well. 

Writing Your Resignation Letter

It’s time to quit! Whether you are leaving on a good or bad note, one aspect you shouldn’t skip is the resignation letter. Ideally you are leaving work on a positive note, and you’re about to head to bigger and better things. Even if the parting isn’t exactly mutual, a resignation letter is a sign of good faith. It’s also an important document that is essential for moving on in your career.

So how do you go about telling your boss that your quitting? It can be awkward, even in the best of circumstances. It’s best to keep your resignation letter, short, positive and to the point. 

Time of Notice

In both the US and Canada, there is no specific legal requirement to give a set amount of time for your notice. However, two weeks notice is the typical in most situations. The big exception to this rule is if your employee contract says different. If you’re in upper management your contract might suggest you have to give at least a couple months of notice, because it will take your company that much time to replace you.

When you sit down to write your resignation letter, start by telling them that you are resigning, and that a specific date (two weeks from when you deliver the letter) is your last day. Here’s an example from wikihow.

A Thank You

You don’t have to go into any great detail, but letting your boss know that you appreciated your time with a company is a nice show of positivity. You don’t need to get into the reasons for leaving, and you don’t have to say anything over the top. Just pick out a couple things you enjoyed while working there and mention them. In this example, you can see how they’ve done it. 

Offering Help

Finally, as a sign of good faith, mention that you’ll be happy to help with any transition process if necessary. Sometimes, managers might not be aware of how you feel about leaving. Give them piece of mind and let them know you plan to wrap up all your outstanding projects. 

Handing over your resignation letter doesn’t have to be a negative thing, no matter what the circumstance. Keep it quick and positive and you’re sure to leave your job with a great feeling and the best wishes from your employers. 

The Thank You Note

Depending on how old-school your parents are, whenever you got a gift for Christmas or your birthday from someone outside of your immediate family, you had to send thank you cards. You had to scribble out any number of notes and get them sent before your parents even let you play with your toys. It was not a pleasant experience. The same goes for anyone who has gotten married. The party is over, you’re now with your one true love. And  you have to write a hundred or so thank you cards. One to each and every guest. 

Maybe this lingering resentment over not being able to play with our toys or go to brunch with our spouse is why thank you cards are seemingly so difficult to write. We know that our family and friends appreciate a quick note of thanks, especially with a personal note, but when the Wedding or Christmas are over, there’s no real incentive to write them. 

The final step to any interview

Thank You notes after a job interview are no different. Many job seekers figure that once the interview is over, all they have left to do is just sit at home and wait. But just like your grandparents and your wedding attendees, your interviewer will appreciate the gesture. 

It can remind your interviewer of your quality conversation, it can keep you top of their mind and it will show that you are a person who follows up and follows through. Sure your interviewer didn’t get you a gift, but they are in charge of giving you a job, which might turn out to be the best gift of all.

Your thank you note could be hand written and delivered, but it can also be a simple, quick email. Here’s a great example from Monster. You want to say thank you, remind them of your qualifications, maybe throw in something from your interview and say you’re looking forward to hearing from them.

Hit send and you’re done. It doesn’t have to be a teeth-pulling experience. It will separate you from the crowd and help you stand out to your interviewer. With luck, you’ll land the job, and it’ll be just like Christmas all over again.

What to Do: When You See Your Boss Outside of Work

Be a Professional

No one is really sure when it happens, but at some point you become a professional. It might happen as soon as you get your first job in high school. It might not happen until you get your first promotion at an office job, but one way or another, you have to become a professional.

What does it even mean? You know how older people keep telling you that you have to grow up? or that you need to be more mature? It’s kind of like that, but within the world of work. At some point you won’t be able to slack off like you used to, and you’ll have to start putting in hard work to get anything out of your career. 

Presentation

Part of being a professional is how you present yourself to others. Think of your LinkedIn profile picture. Is it serious or are you hanging upside down with a drink in your hand? If you want people to treat you like a professional, you have to present yourself as one. Do you wear t-shirts with corny slogans on them, or do you put effort into dressing well?  These are the things that differentiate the professionals from the rest.

Attitude

Similar to presentation, the attitude you bring with you to your job will have a lot to do with how people view you. If you’re constantly worried about yourself, and only looking out for number 1, you’ll find your coworkers start to treat you like a disease. Maintain your attitude regardless of whether things are going your way or not. People will learn to trust you and in turn you’ll be afforded more responsibility. 

Divide Your Time

Professionals know when to work and when to play. They know how to separate their personal time from their work time. They stay off social media during working hours.

Do Good Work

The best way to be a professional, is to do good work. Good work is rewarded with more responsibility, and that in turn will elevate your position. When people think of professionals, they think of hard work and dedication. 

In the end, being a professional is more about how you approach your work than what anyone else thinks about you. Be a professional in your habits and your attitude and the rest will follow.

It’s Time to Organize Your Work Life

How many pieces of paper, notes, items and things do you have from work projects that are years old? How quickly does it take for your desk to go from pristine to total disaster everyday? Chances are, if you’re like most of us, you’re buried alive by emails and memos by about 9:15am. This makes it hard to sort out what needs doing and what can wait. It’ll cost you time and build your stress, and you don’t need any more stress in your life! That means it’s time to organize your work life.

Trash It

Start by throwing things out. The best way to do this is to take multiple passes at all the stuff you have lying around. Some things you know you can toss, toss ‘em. Other things you’re a little unsure about. “Maybe this will come in handy, maybe I’ll refer to this later,” you’ll tell yourself. Make a pile of those. Are there any doubles or copies? Throw the copies out. Finally there are the things that should be filed away and stored. That leads to step 2…

Store for Order

If you haven’t already, get yourself a system. For storing things on your desk, on your computer and in your filing drawers, a system–be it alphabetical, chronological or otherwise–is your best bet to keep things straight. This is not something you can do later either. Once you start throwing things where ever, it’ll be that much harder to put a system in place. 

Put it Back Where it Belongs

This little piece of advice tends to be the hardest one to follow. If you’re the kind of person who has clothes all over their floor you know exactly what I mean. It’s just so, so much easier to throw your coat on the floor, rather than take an extra moment to open the closet, put it on a hanger and hang it up. But eventually, this leads to not being able to see the floor through the clothes, and not being able to find anything.

Have a Plan

When you’ve thrown out what you don’t need, and you’ve put a system in place to keep everything orderly, and you maintain that system, you’re ready. Don’t start your day without a clear set of items to accomplish. A To Do list, a goals list or just a clear idea of what you want to get done today will help you focus on something. 

A Guide to Surviving Your First Office Job

It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there and you’re just starting out. How will you survive? There will be meetings and memos and late nights and coworkers with chips on their shoulders. You might feel like it’s nearly too much to take. You don’t want to look like a rookie who had to go on Youtube to figure out how to tie a tie, right? Luckily for you, we’ve put together a handy little guide to surviving your first office job. 

Find the Coffee

You’re not going to get anything done without a little caffeine in the morning. Those TPS reports won’t write themselves. So while someone is showing you around the place, make sure you find the break room. The break room will have the coffee (or tea, if that’s your thing) so it’s imperative to know where it is. Don’t act like a novice and think that just knowing where the coffee is located is enough. Is it a drip machine or a Keurig? Where do they keep the sugar? These finer details could save you down the road.

Talk about the Weekend

Small chat: it’s awkward and nearly unavoidable when you’re meeting new coworkers. You don’t want to have everyone standing around the water cooler looking at you with a empty glaze, so talk about the weekend. If it’s Monday or Tuesday, ask how everyone’s weekend was. If it’s Thursday or Friday, ask about your coworker’s weekend plans. They love talking about their plans. If it’s Wednesday… just blurt out something about weekends. People will jump on board.

Name on Lunch

You brought pizza to work? Great idea. Did you put your name on the container before you put it in the fridge? No, you didn’t… and now Davis from marketing is chowing down on your delicious ‘Za. Do you know why? It’s because the office fridge is a brutal tundra of ill gotten gains. To leave your lunch in that cold, dimly-lit abyss is to toss an unshielded finger into a tank of piranhas. There is only one law in that frozen place, and that law is: if there’s no name, it’s fair game.

Print at Staples

The printer/copier at your office doesn’t work. Don’t go try it, take it from us, it doesn’t work. No one wants to see the new guy lose his cool at an inanimate, non-copying object, so just stay away. Do you have an important document to print? Go to Staples. They have very reasonable rates, and so many locations that you can get to one in a maximum of 15 minutes. You’re too young to have a total meltdown, and if you try to use your office copier, that’s what’s going to happen.

Let Your Boss Win at Golf

This may not come up for all of you, but if it does, we want you to be ready. Sometimes the boss will invite the new person to do a thing. It might be golf, it might be poker, it might be just a quick drink to say “Welcome to the Team!” Whatever it is, let your boss win. This is not the time to show leadership, ambition or even skills. This is the time to accept a pat on the head and stories of how things used to be in their day. 

Those are the basics. With this guide at your side, you’ll be sure to survive and flourish in your new office job. Good Luck.